Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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