Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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