I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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