you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
This is the high leading the old right now
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
