They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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