I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
