My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Randomize
