You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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