you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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