It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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