y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
