Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
