No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
