Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
