is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Randomize
