so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
