You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
