how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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