her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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