I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
