anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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