her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Four minutes until I can fart!
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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