'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
