yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
