Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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