your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
