I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
