1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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