Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
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