Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
