My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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