what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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