Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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