True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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