If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Randomize
