Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
