You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
