Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
