My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
zippers are such a cool invention
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
