I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
