They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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