i barfeds in our rink
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
