Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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