I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
