Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
pray to the hookup gods
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
