If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
