wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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