Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
