Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
