ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
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