My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
