i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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